I still miss you!!!! I am finally feeling a little bit better. Its very hard, I'm going through some hard times right now. A couple weeks ago I said that i was going to kill myself, i hurt so many by saying that. But I was feeling real down for a while everything was going wrong, God threw me all these obstacles. Then I sat and thought about what you did and all the people that you hurt, and I don't want to do that. So now I'm getting help I'm going to see a psycologist. I feel so bad though I just wish so bad you were here to help me. I know you are though watching down on me. Please help me with some of my problems, make sure my mom is going to be ok shes been sick for a couple days. She has a sist. I don't know if shes going to be ok , physically and emotionally. She started smoking again, she says its because shes stressed but i know its because of me. She can't handle my behavior and my depression. Please help me I lost my best friend today shes mad at me for something I don't know what. Shes a good friend and she listens to me when I feel down. Just like you did. I feel like after you died you sent her to me to help me. Please just be by my side every day until I'm ok, Sometimes I feel like i'm all alone. But I have faith that you will be with me.

Luv you and be by my side and guide me,
Your Best Friend
Wednesday, February 21, 2007 10:02 PM EST

Hi, It's Miguel I dont know if you remember me but I remember you. The day I was leaving your house to move back to Chicago some many years ago you said "Hey Miguel take care in Chicago" ,you probably didnt know then but that day I had two garbage bags filled with my clothes no place to live,feeling hopeless,scared and confused.I didnt have much sense of direction.Anyway that day was very blurred, not alot people knew I exsited but one thing was clear for just that one moment you had recognized me not by face but as a human being by simply remembering my NAME and saying TAKE CARE. What powerful words they were for me and till this day I have always remembered that young girl at The Zavacky's house being used by God to let me know I wasnt alone. It's funny how life works.My heart is sadden, I wished I could have returned that gesture but only God Knows,and I guess it was time for you to go home.Well "kid-o" I never got a chance to tell you this in person but spirtually I know you are listening. With that I say Thank You ,thank you so so much for those kind words, and I will return those kind words to whoever may need to hear them in your memory.

Forever Grateful, Miguel
Monday, February 19, 2007 8:44 PM EST

Didn't forget your birthday but I just wasn't in the mood to go online. Think of you often. Remember you fondly. Miss you a bunch.

Respectfully,
Dad
Friday, February 09, 2007 8:52 AM EST

Just to let you know we still miss you. I often think how how strong you had tried to be outwardly even though I knew you were somewhat insecure inwardly. Emotionally, you were not ready to handle some setbacks at that time of your life but probably could have only a few years later. I often wish you had gone off to school which would have given you a varied and deeper perspective of life even a more realistic one. With your caring attitude and giving nature, you would have been an even better asset to this world than you already were. (I also believe but cannot prove the antidepressants you were on affected you in such a way you could not think clearly. Once when I stop by your place, you appeared tired to me and listless. I thought maybe you were depressed but now I wonder if the antidepressants were affecting you. Ah, so many ifs.) You would have been a great Mom-I just know it. Yes, I still miss you and wonder-maybe a little less each day. The hole in my heart gets a little smaller with each passing day but I know will never completely close.

With Love and Fondness,
Dad
Sunday, November 05, 2006 6:20 AM EST

Well here we are again… another year later. I'm still saddened by your choice but I have finally come to terms enough that I don't dread everyday. It has been three very long years in this respect yet three short years in many others. You now know how much you are loved and cared for and that your deepest feelings at the time were so inaccurate. I still very much miss my best friend and wish you were here with me still. I know you are watching over us and that does aid in the healing process. I am also sure you are in a much better place now and that also helps. Well I just wanted to tell you again just how much I love and miss you! Best wishes as always and I will keep checking in with you until we are united again some day later.

Miss you LOTS!
Love you a TON!
Wish you were here…
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
Thursday, November 02, 2006 4:09 PM EST

I miss you so much!! It's been so long, I remember how you use to make me feel better when I was sad. I loved it when you smiled it would light up the whole room. I remember when they broke the news to me, I was so sad and hurt. I was in total shock and didn't believe them. Then my mom told me I had a chance to say my last good-bye to you at the viewing, I was kind of scared to go because this was my first time I went to a viewing. When I saw your casket it hurt me and I started to cry, then your mom gave me a hug and I felt a little relieved because she was probably the closest one to you. For a couple months I felt miserable, but I didn't want to show it cause I didn't want any one to feel bad for me. If they should feel bad for any it show be your family and your close friends, not just a kid from the daycare. Well my birthday passed not to long ago I'm a teen now. My mom had a boy, it's to bad you didn't get to meet him he would have loved you like I did. I tell him about you often, he's sees your pictures on my wall. My behavior is getting better, I got honors last quarter. I try to do better cause in your long letter in my year book you told me to do my best no matter what happens. I read that every time I miss you. Which is very often. I go to school at Holy Infancy School now, my mom thinks it's better for my behavior problems. I'm gonna be working at Musikfest, at Holy Infancy's stand it's called "The Melting Pot". Ever since you passed away I have been quieter than before. I'm not a clown any more, I think it's stupid to make a fool of myself. I've been wanting to come to your grave for a long time but haven't worked up enough courage. I don't think I could handle it. Well I miss you and keep looking out for me. I wish I could meet some of your family they seem like nice people from all the nice things you use to say about them. Or maybe I could see some of my old daycare teachers from Calypso like Mrs. B. I liked her a lot, but you were my favorite and always will be!! I miss you sooo much you will never be forgotten!!!!

Love, Amanda Hassen
Wednesday, July 26, 2006 9:36 PM EST

It's been awhile; ok it's been a long time. I just wanted to check in with you…

I still love and miss you so much!
XOXO Yvette XOXO
Wednesday, May 10, 2006 1:36 PM EST

Others may not understand, but in all honesty I can truely say I do understand. Thinking of you always. XOXOXO
Thursday, January 26, 2006 6:14 PM EST

Wow, "funny" how things work... I know you understand.

Happy Birthday Cheryl!

I love and miss you so much, wish you were here.
Love, Hugs and Kisses Yvette xoxoxo
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 1:09 PM EST

I just couldn't bring myself to write yesterday. I just wanted to tell you again how much I love and miss you!

xoxoxoxoxoxox
Tuesday, January 17, 2006 9:32 AM EST

One Flaw in Women

By the time the Lord made woman, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" and the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart -and she will do everything with only two hands." The angel was astounded at the requirements. "Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." "But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days." The angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able to think?" asked the angel. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate." The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one." "That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!" "What's the tear for?" the angel asked. The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride." The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing." And she is! Women have strengths that amaze men. They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love, and joy. They smile when they want to scream. They sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous. They fight for what they believe in. They stand up to injustice. They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution. They go without, so their family can have. They go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They love unconditionally. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards. They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding. Their hearts break when a friend dies. They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. Women come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. They'll drive, fly, walk, run, or e-mail you to show how much they care about you. The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope, and love. They have compassion and ideals. They give moral support to their family and friends. Women have vital things to say and everything to give. HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN, IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

I wish you hadn't forgotten your worth! You were all this and more to many people who knew your worth and love you dearly! I miss you so much! I know my heart broke when my friend died, and it is still broken. Love you lots and miss you even more.
Monday, December 05, 2005 11:07 AM EST

Two years, two very long years how I still miss you! I am just at such a loss for words. Heartbreaking is all that I can say.

It's been a long year
Since you've been gone
I've been alone here
I've grown old
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

I keep a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely, I can't breathe
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling

All the years I've tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I'm waiting
Will I find you
Can I find you
We're falling down
I'm falling

Velvet Revolver, Fall to pieces, by Unknown

XOXO Love and Miss YOU lots and lots!!! XOXO
Thursday, November 17, 2005 12:22 PM EST

Just to let you know-Mom and I still think about you often-miss ya-hope you and your 2 grandfathers are having a good time. Love Ya Pumpkin.

Love,
Mom and Dad
Friday, November 04, 2005 7:41 AM EST

I read your letter. It was very thoughtful and sincere. But please keep in mind, as hard it is, that every new day brings us hope for a new beginning. Whether that new beginning is a better understanding/ acceptance of life, a more fulfilled life, a more successful life, etc-one doesn't know. It is the idea that one's life can change instantly for the better that brings us hope. Hope and faith can be anyone's mainstay. Who knows what goodness tomorrow can bring. I wish you the best.

Respectfully,
Alan Zavacky
Cheryl's father
Wednesday, May 04, 2005 10:58 AM EST

Well days go by and by yet I know I still miss you like you wouldn't believe. You know I still find myself wishing you were here. Granted some days aren't as bad as others but wow let me tell you it's like every night you go to sleep you have to accept the fact that when you wake up the next day the nightmare is still there. I know you surely were not you when whatever possessed you to make the choice that you made occurred. I just think it is sad that this is it. It's over. You're gone. There was no talking about it. There was no thinking it through. There was no realization that no matter how low you felt at that moment that at any point in time after that moment you may have very well experienced the best feeling yet of your life. In the aspect of all things in life you were truly still a baby. You had not even had the chance to completely grow up yet which I believe just adds to the pain of the survivors you left behind. You deserved the world Cheryl and some how you found it felt empty, maybe even uninviting. Some days I am so upset with you. I find myself just trying to imagine how you felt. The sad truth is it's not that hard, I know, I have been in your shoes. I've been there more than once and yet I made a different choice every time when it came down to the last minutes, I'm still here, holding on, sometimes I'm not sure I have what I need to keep going and I admit those feelings destroy your outlook on life and even your outlook toward the future. I am pretty sure that over the years I had shared my stories with you. Anyways, other days I am so angry with you for being so selfish. I wouldn't wish the pain that I feel from all of this on my worst enemy and I pray your immediate family has the strength to move forward each and every day. Since I hadn't even been privileged to have known you all of your life yet the hole you left with me is gigantic! I can truly empathize with your blood relatives knowing that blood is thicker than "water" and I myself feel as though I lost a sister. I really, really, really hope for my sanity and all those around me that I never again in my lifetime have to experience this. Death is such a saddening experience to go through in the first place but this, this way, and on top of everything you being so young, it just adds to the severity of it all by adding so much more to deal with. There is more pain; lack of understanding, guilt, hurt, missed opportunities, blame, shame, un-acceptance, disbelief and the list just goes on and on I can't even begin to justly describe it all. You had a world of opportunities at your feet but I suppose you were feeling an empty world and yet at the same time the weight of it on your shoulders… I understand Cheryl, I understand.

XOXO I love you XOXO
Saturday, April 30, 2005 5:18 PM EST

Love, Mom & Dad
Monday, February 14, 2005 7:26 AM EST

Help me today! Make me understand....I really need to. I think of you every single day and some times I wish I wouldn't. I sometimes get so mad at you. Those are the days when I wish I wouldn't think of you. The days when I wish I wouldn't remember... Today is one of those days. What was it? What was going through your head? Please, I need to know. I hate knowing that you are gone and yet none of us know why. Why couldn't any of us help you? Why wouldn't you let us? I feel so lost sometimes. I feel like I can't make sense of anything some days. I find myself so often saying your name or thinking of you. Just then I get so mad...because then I have to remind myself that those times are past and I will never get to have even just one more of those times with you again. None of this seems fair...all this time later it still feels like yesterday.

I love and miss you more than I couldn't even put into words!
Melanie
Friday, February 11, 2005 1:23 PM EST

Respectfully,
Alan & Janet Zavacky
Cheryl's father and mother
Tuesday, January 18, 2005 12:23 PM EST

We both love and miss you very much!
Melanie and Chris
Sunday, January 16, 2005 11:05 PM EST

I'm finding myself tongue tied. Today is your birthday and the holidays are all over now. I still miss you so. There are still days when all I want to do is call you. I really had a strange thing happen. When I was out at dinner one night I saw someone and from the back. It was you, I swear it was definitely you no questions asked. Then the girl turned around and it wasn't you. I was so confused for that brief second. I was like WOW you know there's my friend whom I've missed so much. Then reality rudely came flooding back to me reminding me that it was not that my friend had just moved away or we just have lost touch with each other. I was smacked in the face again with the fact that you are gone, there is no coming back. I wouldn't wish this pain on anybody else. I mean in one way I felt a calm for a brief moment. I had the old feeling back that I had before you left this world. For that short time it was comforting to feel at ease. Unfortunately that is not how it really is. I do know that this life changing experience has changed me a lot. I just hope for you it wasn't all in vain. I always tell myself that it wasn't, I believe it wasn't. I Love and Miss you so much Cheryl! There still is not a day that goes by that I don't talk to you and think of you. I know you hear me up there. Well since there isn't much I haven't already told you I'm going to go for now. I do miss you so and as always I wish you were here. No one will ever replace you in my heart. It hurts to celebrate your birthday today when the birthday girl herself isn't here to celebrate it. Although I am happy to say that you did, that you do mean a lot to me and many others. I am happy to have had you in my life!

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Cheryl,
Happy Birthday to you!

Love, Hugs and Kisses!!
Yvette
Sunday, January 16, 2005 7:56 PM EST

Hoping this finds you well,
Melanie
Thursday, December 23, 2004 11:17 AM EST

We used to talk
We used to laugh
We were best of friends
I thought that's how it would always be
You taught me so much
Told me exactly what to say
I wish it were still the same
But someday I know it will
Maybe not today
But we'll meet up again
It won't be long until I see your face
In Heaven that marvelous day

I miss you and love you,
Angel
Tuesday, November 02, 2004 2:38 PM EST

Hey… I wanted to let you know (as if you don't already) that I miss you so much. You know I got put in a situation where you should have been there with me and I just couldn't handle it. I don't think I ever will. I don't understand how some can!? It was very hard. I miss you so much and wish you were here with me. The 1 year mark is coming up and I'm not looking forward to it. So much is different. One good thing though is that the person you put me in touch with just a month before you left us is moving closer and we will be in touch often! Thank you for that! Missing and Loving you…
Thursday, September 30, 2004 12:59 PM EST

The Dragonfly
=============

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads, there lived a little water beetle in a community of water beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never known existed.

Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he understood that their time would come, when they, too, would know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off into his joyous new life!

~Author Unknown~

Love you.
Yvette
Friday, September 24, 2004 3:59 PM EST

Oh how I miss you still. Things have changed in many areas yet other things remain the same. It is still very hard, some days I can handle it better then others. I still find myself thinking about you at any given moment and tears instantly come flooding to my eyes and I get that big lump in the back of my throat. There are still many nights I cry myself to sleep thinking about you or I lie there fighting so hard to hold back the tears. It will soon be a year you've been gone and I really believe I am still in shock and I still don't think I have accepted it. I don't want to stop hoping my best friend is coming back to me and I know it's stupid but I think if I come to terms with all this and accept it I'll have to stop hoping you're coming back. I am not ready to do that yet. There is just so much that didn't happen yet that we would have shared and I don't want to have to accept the fact that I won't be sharing these things with my best friend. I know I am probably looking at all of this the wrong way I am sure I am making this worse on myself then I have to. I try to be positive about all of it I really do but it is just still so hard. You know if it's not one thing it's another, something always reminding me of you. You know I still find it hard sorting out all my thoughts, they can be so sporadic. Most of all, I really miss the closeness we had. I always knew I could come to you with anything now I have no one. Well of course I still "talk" to you but it's just not the same. I don't have the shoulder I need any more and I never have to be a shoulder any more. Well I just wanted to check in. I was hoping if I did it might help to lessen the sadness that seems to be growing, we both know why. I am not looking forward to the days ahead I am just going to do my best and take it one step at a time and pray you'll be there guiding me through it…I keep telling myself that you are my beautiful blue tailed dragonfly.

I love and miss you lots,
Hope you're doing well,
Peace and Happiness,
Wish you were here…
Yvette
XOXOX
Friday, September 24, 2004 3:54 PM EST

This is to let you know that the headstone is finally up at Cheryl's gravesite. Complications were finally overcome. It is simple but with a touch of character & beauty-just like Cheryl.

With Best Wishes,
Cheryl's Parents-Alan & Janet
Friday, September 24, 2004 9:12 AM EST

Well we leave for Wildwood in a few days. Most everyone was over last weekend and we were all chatting about who was going, the yearly issue of who needs a trailer for their car, who has one they can borrow, what time we are leaving, who is bringing what...on and on and on. Clint and I ended up talking about you and how it will be without you there. It is so strange that just about everything we do somehow involves thoughts of you. I hope that the weekend will go smoothly Lord knows it is going to be so much different. So many new people coming. Not necessarily new but new to the trip and then it seems like the ones who have always been there won't be. Last year it was Yvette but everyone knew that she has at home and if we wanted to see her we could when we got home, but this year it will be you that we miss the difference is that you will not be home when I get home and I won't get to see you until I join you. I am going to play Bingo though. I will save the seat next to me for you my friend. Maybe I'll even be able to win you one of those crazy bright rings this year. I wish I still had mine from last year. I keep hoping that I will see you while I am there, in some way. Maybe in a cloud or a wave. I know you will be there with us though.

Alex's birthday passed and I know that he really misses you, Chris' is in a few days and I don't think I need to tell you how much he misses you. We talk about you all of the time. Sparky the turtle died a few weeks ago. We found him at your services and kept him for so long. We named him after you since you were always the "Sparkplug" we appropriately named him Sparky. That was such a sad day. We became so attached to him and losing him was like losing you all over again because we kept him simply because of you. It seemed like we were meant to have him. It was like it some way he held a part of you inside of him.

We are very quickly approaching the one year mark. I can't believe how quickly time has passed. I keep thinking that in just a few more months you would be another year older. I just feel so torn about this still. I never really know which way to turn. Each day brings something different for me. I just hope that you are doing well and that you are surrounded by nothing but love and happiness.

Hoping this finds you well,
I love and miss you,
Melanie
Wednesday, September 15, 2004 3:57 PM EST

One friend will say let's pray together,
another let's cry together, another let's fight together,
another let's walk away together...

One friend will meet your spiritual need,
another your shoe fetish, another your love for movies, another will be
with you in your season of confusion, another will be your clarifier,
another the wind beneath your wings...

But whatever their assignment in your life, on whatever the occasion, on whatever the day, or
where ever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself... those are your best friends

It may all be wrapped up in one woman,
but for many it's wrapped up in several...
one from 7th grade, one from high school, several from the college years, a couple from old jobs, several from church, on some days your mother, on others your sisters, and on some days it's the one that you needed just for that day or week that you needed someone with a fresh perspective, or the one who didn't know all your baggage, or the one who would just listen without judging.. ..................................
those are good girlfriends/best friends.

Men are wonderful, husbands are excellent, boyfriends are awesome, male friends are priceless... but if you've ever had a real good girlfriend, then you know there's nothing like her!

I thank God for girlfriends, those who honor intimacy, those who hold trust, and those who just got your back when you feel like life is just too heavy

I thank God for you. The special bond we share that's unique to us.
The words we've shared. The prayers we've sent up.
The laughs, the tears, the phone calls, the emails, the shopping, the
movies, the lunches, the dinners, the late night talks, afternoon talks,
the weekend talks, all the talking, talking, talking and the listening,
listening, listening...

So whether you've been there 20 minutes or 20 years, I Love You!

Thank you for your Friendship!
I know that you are gone now, but I know that a friendship like ours never ends, no matter what, I know that when I am speaking you are listening, when I have a problem, you are my angel! I LOVE YOU, and no words could express how very much I miss you.

Jess
Wednesday, September 08, 2004 7:08 PM EST

Hey there! You have been on my mind a lot lately. I feel like I haven't talked to you in so long. I stop by to see you all of the time. I just miss you so much! I changed jobs so now I get to drive by you everyday. Some days I am happy for that and other days I hate it! I am glad that summer is almost over. I am so tired of the heat! Everyone seems to be doing a little better. I really just wish that things were the way they used to be. I will talk to you soon. I love and miss you with everyday that passes.

Melanie
Wednesday, August 18, 2004 5:17 PM EST

Happy 4th of July! I know you had the BEST view! I LOVE AND MISS YOU!
Hoping this finds you well~
Melanie
Sunday, July 04, 2004 10:41 PM EST

Yesterday was a bad day for me. I found myself very angry with you. The entire ride home from work I found myself thinking about you. I still try to figure out what was going through your head. What made you make the choice you made. How could she do that to herself? That is all I kept asking myself. I wish you would have listened to all of us that love you when we told you just hang in there, things will be alright, we love you, you are going to be fine, we'll do anything we can to help you. Why didn't you listen to us? Please, I need to know. It seems like you are all I can think of anymore. When I was visiting you on Monday there was a little boy at the cemetery all alone visiting a friend of his and I was thinking why should he have to be there he is just so young. As I was leaving I asked him if he was alright and he said his friend died and he hated it all I could say to him yes I know how you feel I lost a good friend too. I told him how much I missed you and told him that you like his friend are in a much happier place now and that is alright. When I got in my car to leave I sat there thinking about how I just lied to that boy. It isn't alright, I don't think it will ever be alright Cheryl. I just wish I understood. It all still just feels like it isn't real. I love and miss you so much!

Hoping this finds you well my friend,
Melanie
Wednesday, June 16, 2004 10:16 AM EST

"It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them."

You gave new meaning to "an entire life to forget them" for me at least. I will never forget you, I wish you enough…

Love and Miss you so much
Wednesday, May 26, 2004 3:19 PM EST

Well summer is here. Chris and I just got home from Ocean City for the car show. On the way home we brought you a wind chime and sat there walking through old memories of you. We were talking about planting some flowers for you and then remembered about the Tomato Plant! :) We were talking about how excited you were about the tomatos that were growing that you didn't plant. Remember those? It was nice to get to sit there and smile. You gave all of us those great memories of you.

You would have enjoyed Ocean City. It was so warm and sunny. The first time in the four years we have been going that we didn't have rain. I saw that T-Shirt on the boardwalk. You know the one. The one you wanted while we were in Wildwood. You know which one. :) I still laugh when I hear or see that. My mom had a sticker at her house with that little saying on. I had to take it home with me.

Well my friend...I will talk to you soon. Hoping this finds you well.
I love and miss you with all of my heart.
Melanie~
Tuesday, May 25, 2004 10:55 AM EST

I never had the pleasure of meeting you, although I feel as though I know you in some small way, My daughter is one of the many, many, people who loved you and misses you each and every day. I know that you are at peace now and I pray for those left behind, your Mom, Dad, any family and all those friends that continue to miss you and mourn for you daily. God be with each and everyone of them. I just wanted to say that I will never take things for granted in this life again, a sad lesson that I wish all affected didnt have to endure, but that is the key here, to endure....Your friendship, your love for your family and your presence will always remind those who are left behind what a special person you must have been. Be with the angels Cheryl and look after those you loved. They need you!

Mels Mom
Friday, May 21, 2004 7:24 PM EST

Almost 6 ½ months later I still find myself questioning if this really happened. If this is real or not, in hopes my phone will ring and I will find your voice on the other end. Or maybe you would just come rushing up my steps to tell me something, anything. I still miss you so much this is all still very hard. I dream about you which I guess helps since I love seeing you. That is only one of very few way I do get to see you now. I just so many times want to say things yet I can't find the words. I tell myself that I can't keep asking the "what if's", yet I still find myself doing so. I just feel so saddened by the fact that you felt that this was the choice you had to make. I know you know I would have done anything for you, in fact that had been discussed for quite sometime before… Well you know. I still wish that things were different. Losing you was like losing a sister. I know others still hurt too and I pray for them to have the strength to get through this also. Well as I sit here with tears each one a great memory of you. I'll say a pray and live knowing you are watching over each and every one of us that loves and misses you.

As always,
Love and Miss you so much!
Peace and Happiness I hope was found.
Wish you were here…

Yvette xoxo
Friday, May 14, 2004 4:03 PM

Today I am here to ask you for a favor. Please watch over Mikey...he needs it. Help heal his heart in so many ways. Give him the strength to get through all of what is going on. Make him better. Help him know how much we all care about him. Please just make sure he is alright. Try to make him see.
Friday, May 14, 2004 9:57 AM EST

Thank you for your thoughtfulness in placing flowers at Cheryl's gravesite. We gratefully appreciate your thoughtfulness. Just a note, Cheryl's headstone should be in place in the next 60-90 days.

Respectfully,
The Zavacky Family
Friday, April 23, 2004 7:43 AM EST

I know that the catch phrase is "Time heals all wounds"... Well I am not so sure I am confident about that anymore. I know that so many of us are suffering. Each of us in our different way. However, the reality is that we suffer for the same reason. Loss. If I had to describe the meaning of loss 6 months ago I would say I felt loss for selfish, childish and unimportant reasons until 11/2/03. Now If I have to describe it I will say that loss is an unending pain, a void that will never be filled, a lifetime of unanswered questions. To those of us reading this that knew you I pray that we NEVER forget and to those who didn't I am truly sorry for you. Each person that knew you was somehow touched by you. And so many who didn't know you were also touched when they heard your story. I only hope that as time passes the pain fades to a bearable level and the wonderful memories of you flood our hearts with joy. I love and miss you, today, tomorrow, always.

Hoping this finds you well,
Melanie~
Tuesday, April 20, 2004 4:14 PM

Hey girl! Missing you bad, summer is coming around the corner. It is not going to be the same anymore. I still wonder, why? Guess that is going to haunt me forever. Im starting to forgive you, not being so angry at you, looking at this from your point of view seems to help a little, hoping you are happier now. I just get my mind going thinking maybe I wasn't as good as a friend as I needed to be. One day I will have all the answers I hope. I love you and miss you SO much. It is not the same without you.

You will be in my heart forever!
ME
Sunday, April 04, 2004 12:11 AM EST

Just me, I am missing you an awful lot the past few days. I've been feeling kind of low so I'm sure that has something to do with it. Anyway I just want to remind you I love you and miss you! How I wish you were here. I'm sure we both could use a hug right about now…

Love, Hugs and Kisses!
Tuesday, March 30, 2004 11:56 AM EST

Ugh more snow! Is it going to stop? Who knows. How are you? Just one of those nights. One of the ones where I would love to pick up the phone to call you just to vent but I can't. So here I find myself again! Not much has changed. Except I miss you more each day. It seems like everyone is splitting up. What is happening to all of us? So depressing. I know you would have a few choice words. Given a few of the recent situations. :) I just smile thinking about what you would say. I find great pleasure in that. Crazy world... Goodnight my friend!

Hoping this finds you well~
I love and miss you~
Melanie~
Thursday, March 18, 2004 11:33 PM EST

The Winds of Fate
==================
One ship drives east and another drives west,
While the self-same breezes blow;
It's the set of the sails and not the gales,
That bids them where to go.
Like the winds of the seas are the ways of the fates,
As we voyage through life;
It's the set of the soul that decides the goal,
And not the storms or the strife.
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox~

I love and miss you so very much, everyday I wish you were here.

Unfortunately since it's the set of the soul that decides the goal, I guess nobody had a say in this…

XOXOXOX

Yvette~
Friday, March 05, 2004 10:00 AM EST

Hey you! How are you? I hope that you are doing well. I have been thinking of you a lot lately. I think because it is getting warmer out and summer is coming I am beginning to dread what I am in for. It is going to be so hard to do a lot of the things that we have always done together. The cruises, the shows, the shore on and on. I hate it. I really feel like in some ways you left me behind without thinking about how I would be without you. I sometimes find myself resentful of you for that. I don't mean to be or want to be upset with you I just wish I could understand. Understand how you didn't know so many of us love and adore you. I wish you would have known that so many of us would not be ok without you. I read something the other day that made me think of you. I only hope that you know this is true of you...

"When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end you are smiling and everyone around you is crying"

God Cheryl, you took that to an entirely different level. You have NO idea. I think of you everyday and wish everyday that you were here. We still have a tape from a few summers ago when everyone was just kind of hanging out and you aren't on the screen but I can hear your voice. I look at pictures of you all the time and I want so badly to watch that tape just so I can hear your voice again but I just cannot find the strength to do it. I am just so afraid of how I will feel afterward. Just so many good memories and a few bad ones. I guess that is what makes us who and what we are. I have learned from you to be more thankful for what I have in my life. You just never know when it will be taken from you. I miss you! I wish that this was all so different. I love you!

Melanie~
Wednesday, February 25, 2004 10:38 PM EST

Hey girl! I don't know what you were thinking but I cannot believe you thought I would be ok without you, I cant take it!! I'm constantly questioning myself, what did I do wrong, why could you not come to me and talk, maybe you gave me the signs and I didn't listen, what were you thinking those last few minutes? I know I'm being selfish but you were to. Leaving everyone behind like this. We had so many plans for the future! I will catch up with you one day and you will truly regret this! But I still love you so much, like they say you really don't know what you have until it is gone. And I had something that will NEVER be replaced.

Love you and miss you SO much!

Angel
Thursday, February 19, 2004 5:58 PM EST

There are so many things I always wanted to say to you, most importantly...ThankYou! I went through a few rough years in life and no matter were anything took me, you were always there to tell me I was gonna be just fine, you never turned away from me in good or bad times. Thank You for that.

I have every single school picture you ever gave me, the earliest one I found was from the 4th grade, has it really been that long. So many memeories that I will cherish for the rest of my life, I can't turn on the TV, look at the sky, drive, or do anything in my daily life without some little thing catching my eye and bringing a smile to my face because it reminds me of you or your family. Everytime I open a jar of pickles...Antoinette loves pickles too, even Michael J. eats them!!

In my life I have been blessed with a handful of friends that I have known from childhood, that I remain friends with today and still talk with. Each one of these friends has a place in my heart forever. I have a place for you too Cheryl, that will never change. It will be so hard for me to come home and you not be there, since the first trip I made home, you were always there, if not right off the plane you called me 5 seconds later to find out when we would get to see each other. You are such a great person, I miss you so much it gets to be unbearable at times. I still do not believe it sometimes. What happened to My Cheryl?

I know that you are with each and every one of us that cares for you and I have faith that I will get to see you again some day (be prepared for me!!!!!). Until that day, know that I love you and miss you more than words can say. I LOVE YOU!!!
Monday, January 26, 2004 1:39 AM EST

Hey there! Happy Birthday! I really don't know what to say. Just when I think I feel a little more at peace with this something smacks me square in the face. This is never going to be alright. I really need some strength from you. My heart is aching! Sometimes I just sit and cry and then I think about Chris saying, "Would you want Cheryl to cry for you?" "She is a much better place than we are" He is right you are in a better place. I still ache though for you, for your family, for all of the gang and for me. Somedays I feel better and some days I sit here in disbelief. I am still trying to understand what happened. Where did we go wrong? I feel like I let you down somehow. I just wish more than anything you were here. That I could make all the things that hurt you go away. I wish just once more I could hear your laugh or see your smile. I hope that you are smiling and laughing at all of us. I love and miss you with all of my heart.

Hoping this finds you well~
Melanie
Friday, January 16, 2004 11:49 PM EST

Sorry that it is SO hard for me to write to you but as only you know we talk in other ways. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you.

I wish you were here to see her, I love her so much and will never forget what you told me "I wish you all the luck in the world. I hope this baby brings you so much love and joy and no matter what your child needs or does in her life - you support her in whatever it is" I will (and now she knows what you wrote!). I know you are watching over us and taking care of us. I just wish it didn't have to be this way. There are days that go by and I don't think I can do it anymore without you. You are my EVERYTHING. You mean more to me than words can say. I visit your family as often as I can, they are some of the kindest people anyone could ever know.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I can't wait to see you again. But for now I know you are MY angel.

Love you always.
Friday, January 16, 2004 11:39 PM EST

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Cheryl,
Happy Birthday to you.

Wish things were different...
Love and Miss you! xoxo
Yvette~
Friday, January 16, 2004 5:03 PM EST

We are Ricky Zellner's parents and just found out about the accident. We are so very sorry that such events happen. It is felt by many. The friends, family and people that really don't know the family or victim but just care. There is a large void in your friends and family's lives that consumes your every thought BUT in time this void becomes a little more controllable. We understand that Cheryl was a friend of Ricky and we, unfortunately, went through some of the same despair, saddness, grief, loss, guilt that some of you may be going through. If we can help you in any way, please call.

Like Cheryl, Ricky was a joy to be around and we think about him everyday as we are sure you do of Cheryl. Our house is adorned with pictures of Ricky with his friends, which comfort us. There is no easy way to cure the pain and it may take a long time to make the pain bearable. No two people grieve the same but each in their own way deal with the despair which is alright. We do attend meetings, my wife more than me, at the Compasionate Friends. This support group helps people with dealing with loss.

We hope that your life is starting to get back to as normal as it can.

Wishing you well,
Les & Judy Zellner
Wednesday, January 14, 2004 9:44 PM EST

Well the holidays are finally over. Truthfully they were hard but you already knew I felt this way. I just have your birthday to get over now. Coming to see you Christmas day, there, really was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's really no way for anyone to spend the holidays. I miss you and your company. I wish daily things were different. I know you know but I did get you your tree like we said we were going to, like we always did this time of year. I just wish you would have been with me to get it instead of me having to bring it to you. It may be little but I didn't think they would appreciate a five footer either. I especially missed you New Years, since we had spent so many together. I know that now I have to try to keep moving forward no matter how hard or how much it hurts. I especially have to remember all of the great times we shared and that yes one day I will be with my friend whom I miss so much again. Take care, I'll be back to chat later. Since you know I like to change the "scenery" when I talk to you, can't wait until it's warmer out, you know what I'm talking about.

As always Love and Miss You!
Wish you were here!
Hope you're doing well!

Love, Yvette~ xoxo
Monday, January 05, 2004 3:25 PM EST

They say time heals all wounds, I am finding that hard to believe as you cross my mind each day, and I miss you more and more. You were a bigger part of my life than you ever realized. You honestly were the closest girlfriend I ever had, we did not capitalize on the special relationship that we had but the effort that we did put in kept us close since were 'little pudge balls' as you would say in your giants starter jacket until your last birthday where you looked as beautiful as ever with the same big blue eyes and huge smile as you did back then. No matter who had come and gone in our lives the 12 year old versions of ourselves never left us!

I can honestly admit that when I did call you, or stop by out of the blue was just to let you know I still thought about you, even if I did make other excuses. Like the fifteen minutes that I knew I could catch you in the middle of the afternoon before work was just another one of my sly ways of letting you still know I was there. I still make those trips just in a different way now. Ever since we were young I knew you were someone special, you were always an amazing, strong person who was never afraid to stick up for what you thought or speak your true feelings. I can't help but find myself paging through old year books and sharing all the same memories, but not being able to call you with the same old lame excuse I would use, just to call you! Through the year's people separate, drift apart and find new friends in the course of everything it always seemed like we were in the same place amongst the same people. I don't think there will ever be another person in my life that could touch me like you did. I feel like this will never be real to me, you were always the person I had behind the scenes to call with any situation, everyone grows up and deals with life changes you are the only thing in my life that never changed, to me you were always there the same person I always knew. As everyday passes I want to call you more and more. I think as close as we once were locked us in for life; no matter how far apart we drifted from there our friendship that we built would always keep us together. You were such a special girl, not many people your age could have made such a success for themselves as you did. You were really loved by so many people, and I can't get myself to stop reading your senior quote 'To be loved by someone, you have to love yourself first.' I just hope you realized how many people's lives you touched and how many people loved you. You had a special smile that could light up a room, a smile that would put anyone else before you, a smile that when needed was always there and a smile that could only belong to you.

'It's the heart, afraid of breaking That never learns to dance It's the dream, afraid of waking That never takes the chance It's the one who won't be taken Who cannot seem to give And the soul, afraid of dying That never learns to live When the night has been too lonely And the road has been to long And you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong Just remember... I miss you so much and I love you!
Monday, January 05, 2004 1:11 PM EST

As time passes and your birthday nears I find myself pretty unhappy. I am just still so angry. Chubbs and I came on New Years to see you and I stood there thinking that it is just not fair that I have to go there to celebrate anything with you. How are we all supposed to enjoy the holidays and occasions with you when you aren't here? I really just need to try to deal with the fact that this isn't going to change. It is just so hard. Please help me begin to start to come to some sort of terms with the situation that we are all in right now. God, there is so much new to tell you. You know everything already. I just wish you were still right around the corner. You will always be in my heart and thoughts though. I love and miss you terribly. I will talk to you soon my friend. Hoping this finds you well.
Loving and missing you~
Melanie
Sunday, January 04, 2004 9:03 PM EST

I noticed that someone had put Cheryl's Cross from the accident site at the gravesite. How thoughtful! As Cheryl's headstone cannot be laid until the spring-the ground must be settled,etc. Just acknowledging your thoughtfulness.

Respectfully,

Alan & Janet Zavacky
Friday, January 02, 2004 3:13 PM EST

This is the first time I had the inner strength to write. Hopefully there will be more. My wife, my daughter, and myself thank all of you for your many kindnesses-whether they are the notes here, the cards, the flowers. We were especially touched by the flowers and wreath on Cheryl's grave. It was very kind and very much appreciated. It did bring tears to our eyes and even now it is difficult for me to write this but I felt it necessary to acknowledge your compassion and thoughtfulness. Cheryl was giving and caring to many. I'm sure many of you did realize those great qualities. I'm also sure Cheryl realizes she was loved by many and only wish, ever so deeply, that she thought of that during those last 15 minutes of her life. Maybe then she would have realize how much she had to offer in life and so much to live for-if "onlys" could be made to become true--it would make this deep pain disappear for many of us..

With deep felt gratitude,
Alan, Janet, and Diane Zavacky
Wednesday, December 24, 2003 2:32 PM EST

We are just coming up on the two month mark now. I just don't know what to say. I truly feel that it isn't any easier today then it was the first days. I know you know what I think and feel about you not being here anymore. I miss you so much, you already knew that too. I am really finding the holidays to be hard without you. I miss my best friend, the one that I did so much with. It doesn't feel right or the same doing this stuff without you. I guess I just needed to put some stuff down in writing for you so that's why I am here. Sometimes talking to you just isn't enough. I really miss talking, talking to you. I still find it very hard not being able to pick up the phone and call you. I guess I am just looking to find you well since I myself am not feeling so well about dealing with this. I am trying my best to muddle through with good memories of the past hoping it will lift my spirits at least a little when it comes to doing things we had done together in the past.

I love and miss you so much!
Yvette xoxo
Wednesday, December 24, 2003 12:01 PM EST

Hey there! How have you been? You have been heavy on my mind. I am trying very hard to enjoy the holiday season. It just seems wrong to celebrate. I watched a show the other day about your situation and now have even more questions. Wait til I see you I am bending your ear for hours girl. At your viewing I told Yvette I was just waiting for you to walk in and say we were all wrong. I told Yvette I would smack you for being so stupid but now I think you knew something that none of us did. I read your card again from the service and I will just remember that you will be there when I get there. Someone hung a beautiful cross on your gravemarker. I am sure that you know who did it. It is really hard to go to the cemetary to see you. I just find myself there so frequently. Sometimes I stop to talk and sometimes I just can't find the strength to stop so I keep going. I know that you know we all come to see you. No one seems to spend a lot of time together anymore. It is almost like we are all afraid of having to be together or maybe we are all just too busy. Who knows. Everything just seems so very different. I am so stressed about Wildwood. I am not sure how that is going to be for me. It just always seemed to be the girls and the guys ya know. It is just going to be very hard to be there without you. I will talk to you soon. Please visit Angel and Kayla. She is so beautiful! I wish you could be here to see her. I love you and miss you! Thinking of you always!
Hoping this finds you well,
Melanie~
Saturday, December 13, 2003 8:22 PM EST

HURT~~~ NINE INCH NAILS
Loving and missing you!
Saturday, December 13, 2003 8:09 PM EST

It's been a month now and I still can't believe your gone. I only hope you are looking down on us and see all of the people that love you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. My dad said it best when he said that you never really understand how deep the hole in your heart is until you try to go on living. So many things remind me of you. I have tons of wonderful fun memories that I cherish now. I hope you are at peace now and feel no pain. I miss you.

Terrie
Tuesday, December 02, 2003 2:20 PM EST

I just wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. I wish you were here to share this with us. You will be with us in thought and prayer! I love and miss you!
Mel~
Thursday, November 27, 2003 11:04 AM

>From someone in PA.
Sunday, November 16, 2003 9:46 PM EST

Hey there! Another weekend! I feel like a miss you more now than I did two weeks ago. It is still really hard to deal with everything that has happened. Chris misses you so much! We all do. It is amazing how I notice so many more things on a daily basis that remind me of you. Things I used to see everyday but never thought about because you were just around the corner. Everything...cars, songs, clothes the things people say. I find myself so frequently thinking or saying that is something Cheryl would like or that is something Cheryl would say. I just miss you! I hope that this finds you well. I will talk to you again soon! Love and Miss You!

Melanie~
Sunday, November 16, 2003 7:31 PM EST

Since I can't just pick up the phone and call you at any given moment like I always use to do, I decided to come here to talk to you. I have wanted so many times in the past week to just pick up the phone and talk to you or come see you or have you come see me. I miss you so much! There are so many what ifs and questions that will never be answered. I hope through all of this even though I know you were in a hard place that you really do know there are so many people that love you. I guess we all had lessons to learn and you were chosen to teach us. You know how the saying goes. It is always the good that are taken away from us young. I am going to miss our good times together, especially Sundays. I can't remember the last Sunday I didn't see or at least talk to you. Well I guess I will be visiting you still, just in a different way now (even on Sundays). I really just wanted to say hi, I love you and I really miss you. Take care and one day we will see each other again. Love, Yvette~ XOXO P.S. I will always remember the good times, especially shopping with you. The time you had the boots on with the shorts, you were looking "really good" let me tell you. How about the time we were at Wal-Mart after midnight and you and I were sitting on the floor trying to settle on purses we could "suffer" with. When it came to purses for us it was like Goldilocks with the porridge. Not too big, not to small, had to be just right, it also needed the right amount of pockets. Picky, picky, picky! Again like I said I really miss you and I just wanted to talk to you. I love you and deeply miss you. I also know you are up there looking over us down here and I just want to say thanks for comforting us, I can feel it and so can others.
Monday, November 10, 2003 4:04 PM EST